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I don’t know why this update has been so difficult for me to write. I have 5 drafts and have been staring at the blinking cursor on a blank page on and off for a week. I guess it starts with a thank you – to everyone who has reached out to me since my last post about postpartum depression. While it makes me sad to know that so many other moms can related to my experience, it also makes the burden much lighter to bear. At the very least, it is wonderful to know how much support I have from everyone around me. It will be three weeks this Sunday since I started meds. And, I am tired. Honestly, that has been the worst side effect for me. My doctor told me to expect to not feel the full impact of the medication for 3-4 weeks, and by ... Read the full post.
Am I the only parent that thought the “But Why” milestone wasn’t really a thing? I thought it was one of those parenting fabrications, kind of like how in every movie a pregnant woman’s water breaks into a pool at some inopportune moment. I thought it was this thing people complained about because it’s funny. Like, annoying funny.  But alas, between the ages of 2-3 children are “gaining the cognitive ability to make connections” and have a thirst for more information about how things work. So at 37 months, here it is.  “But, why?” Three thousand times a day, every sentence is followed with, “But why?” Can’t have fruit snack for breakfast — but, why? Can’t ... Read the full post.
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For five days, I could hear the sound of defeat clinking around from inside my purse. To the unsuspecting ear, it could have been an innocent box of TicTac mints or a traveling supply of Advil. But to me it was the sound of concession. Of giving in to something I have fought for the last three years. For five days, during each moment of stress or anxiety I would look at my purse, as if I was willing it to give me sign. I could almost hear it whispering, “Let me help you…” I have postpartum depression. As many as one in seven women in the United States, or nearly 15% of new moms, is believed to suffer from some form of mental illness during or after pregnancy, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecolog ... Read the full post.
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Last night, I was baking three pies and praying the power wouldn’t go out. The kids were running about like turkeys with their heads cut off. As they ran laps around me in the kitchen, Nora toddling after Charlie, both with huge toothy grins, I thought about how genuinely thankful I am for these little moments. For the joy in the middle of the chaos. The unconditional love amidst the stress. The dance parties and the pants-free Sundays. The hugs and the smiles and the belly laughs. Life isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s mostly not. This last year has been a pretty rough one for me. But more so, it has been awesome. In the middle of all the chaos, there is beauty. Even if we can’t see it at the time. And for that I am ... Read the full post.
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The other day, Charlie spontaneously and innocently asked me a question. And suddenly, the moment I have dreaded since becoming a parent was beginning to unravel. It’s happening, don’t say the wrong thing. “Mommy, who is that guy?” He asked as he pointed to a candle I had made for my wedding, my father’s picture printed under the words ‘In Loving Memory.’ My heart was pounding. “Charlie, that’s your Grampy,” I said. “Yeah, Nanny and Gram-PIE!” He confirmed. “No, buddy. That’s a different Grampy. He’s my daddy. He’s not around anymore. But if he were, you would have had 3 Grampies!” “That’s you daddy?” “Yep buddy, tha ... Read the full post.
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I was thinking the other day, longingly, about the good ole college days and times when life was simpler. When I had almost not a care in the world. Times when I wasn’t up all night with little to no sleep or constantly cleaning up someone else’s vomit or memorizing silly little songs to sing at random moments. Until I realized, no, college was kind of just like that. Especially on nights that I was a designated driver to all those filling their steins to dear old Maine. So here are 5 ways that my college experience totally prepared me for motherhood…or, at least, 5 ways that college was eerily parallel to motherhood and I was still completely and utterly unprepared in both scenarios. Take your pick.   5. The all-ni ... Read the full post.
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Sometimes, little things happen and you just can’t believe you are where you are. You are a mom of a human being, with size 8 feet and 20 teeth. How did my little baby get to be so big? Little C went to the dentist this week, and he did great. I was nervous that he wouldn’t be very cooperative, considering he usually has the attention span of a gnat. But one thing we’ve done very well – if I might toot my own parenting horn – is making brushing teeth fun at night. Charlie has an electric toothbrush and “monster slime” toothpaste and sings the Spiderman theme song every night while he brushes. I believe these things to be the keys to pediatric dental care. Charlie let the hygienist floss his teeth ( ... Read the full post.
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Our family of 4. Growing up, my older brother would frequently ask me if I knew that I was adopted. (I’m not – classic big brother torment.) He did it so frequently that one day I kind of started to believe him. So I asked my mom if it was true. Her response, “Oh yes, because having a 3 year old and a 1 year old wasn’t enough, adopting a third child just sounded like a great idea.” I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old now… I totally get it. I am so, so incredibly blessed to have two beautiful, healthy children. I am lucky that I’ve never had to know firsthand the pain of infertility, miscarriage, or infant loss. I thought I was losing Nora in the first trimester, and it was pure hell. I am thankful ... Read the full post.
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Have you heard about the default parent? The post went viral recently, and the author #nailedit. Seriously, it’s one of those blog posts that just makes most parents quietly sigh, “Yessss.” Even reading it aloud to my husband last night, he agreed. Every family, we’ve decided, must be functioning like this to some degree – including us. However, M. Blazoned put this much more eloquently than I ever could have. The hubs and I have been talking about this concept a lot lately, before we even stumbled onto this “Default” theory. Except, I have defined two roles in our family: the fun parent and the shit parent. The latter is a noun, not an adjective and should not be confused with “shitty” ... Read the full post.
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Dear Bean, Just a few seconds old! In true second child fashion, this first birthday letter is late. Very late. You turned one a week, 11 days, 19, 21, 23 (okay this is just getting embarrassing) days ago. But I guess that means I just need to make this letter extra special – kind of like you. One year ago, I thought you would never come out. It was looking like you were destined to live inside my womb until it was time to go to college, feet tucked oh so uncomfortably up inside my ribcage. But then in true female fashion, one good shopping trip was just enough to get you moving. And the rest was history. Not that I intend to stereotype you. You don’t have to love shopping just because you’re a girl. In fact, mom and dad& ... Read the full post.