Well, it finally happened. I knew it was just a matter of time, and last night I was proven right.
Every couple goes through some “growing pains” when a baby arrives and they become parents for the first time. It’s true, what they say, the dynamic of relationships change. It is inevitable. So, let this post serve as a message warning to all fathers and future fathers alike that hope to keep their relationships in tact…
Never, if you wish to keep the hand with which you poured it, dump any quantity of pumped breast milk down the sink!!!
That sh*t doesn’t grow on trees.
You might already know, but Tristan is just about the most mellow, calm guy that ever existed. Not much frazzles him, including an 8 lb mini-human being ejected out of an orifice. Due to the fact that I am incredibly high-strung, I always give him a hard time about having what I like to call “no sense of urgency.”
For example, Tristan was smoking meat in the garage about a week ago. He was holding the baby while I was cleaning when I said to him, “Wow, I can really smell that smoke in here. It smells good.” Ten minutes later… “Wow, that smoker is really strong…” So, I opened the door to the garage – in wafted billows of smoke. “Ummmm, Tristan, I think something is on fire.”
He got up and looked in the garage. I stepped into the garage to see if I could assess the situation, and then went back into the house – Tristan is sitting back down in the living room holding the baby.
“NO SENSE OF URGENCY!!!” I yell.
Editor’s note: Tristan said he continued to hold the baby because he decided that if the house were on fire, he would run out the front door with Charlie. Clearly I’d want him to save the baby, but he doesn’t get any brownie points for leaving me behind.
Anyway, I bring up Tristan’s sense of urgency (or lack thereof) because his personality is actually really something I envy. This guy does not get flustered, and there is no better person to have around when you have a 2 week old infant screaming at 3:30am. Because of Tristan’s ability to not get stressed out, we have really become a great parenting team. At the times I get too stressed, he swoops in and saves the day. At the times I yell at him, he doesn’t yell back…even though he probably should. (No, he definitely should.) But, he usually just chalks it up to us “still figuring things out.”
Because of the stress that having a new baby adds to life, most couples learn quickly that they have to have more patience with each other, more patience with themselves, and maybe change the way they are used to doing things. Tristan has really become a huge help to me in ways he probably didn’t have to be before. For example, before Charlie I was the one that did most of the cleaning and organizing around the house. After Charlie, it’s probably been more him.
So, he didn’t think anything of it last night when he was tidying up the living room and put the bottle that we had just given Charlie in the sink. The only problem – that bottle still had about a half ounce of milk in it. Any breastfeeding mom reading this is probably saying the same thing – Oh no he di-in’t!!
And for anyone that doesn’t get it, I’ll just say – that half an ounce was really hard work. I would have probably been less upset if he flushed $50 down the toilet.
So last night, what he probably would have expected for a reaction was a little something like, “Hey, thanks for helping with the dishes.” What he got was “You did NOT just dump that bottle! What the f*ck! Why would you do that! What the hell!! What were you thinking!!!”
Sorry ’bout that babe. But, I guess on the bright side, I think we’ve “figured” that one out.