B to B – Not Meant to Be, for Me.

I contemplated lying and saying that I posted this yesterday so that I don’t have to say I “failed” at my 10 day challenge. But, really, who does that help? I’ve had a lot going on this week, and I can’t share what kept me from posting yesterday. But, I hope to be able to share exciting news soon. Now, on to the post.

I’ve been thinking about investing in a jogging stroller. I am currently below my pre-pregnancy weight, and I feel like I am doing a good job with eating well. I’m making the effort since I’m still breastfeeding. But, a jogging stroller would help me to get into better shape for sure. Maybe I could lose these last 15 l.b.’s I am aiming for. And, an added bonus is that jogging would get me out of this goddamn house once in a while – while still being able to be with Charlie.

I’m not really sure that I’d be jogging at first. In fact, I am 100% sure it would be just used for walking. The quest for this stroller, and the realization that me becoming a runner is pretty far-fetched, reminded me of a post I wrote in my old blog when I was pretending to be a runner. We didn’t sign up for the Beach to Beacon last year (since I was preggers) and, unless I purchase a jogging stroller and get my ass in gear, I’d say it is absolutely NOT in the cards for me to participate this year. Mostly, because the following post reminded me how much I hate to run.

Here is the old post, from June 2009:

Reasons I am Obviously Not a Runner.

So, you may or may not be aware that Tristan and I ran the Beach to Beacon last year. And yes, I actually ran and finished it. Beach to Beacon is a 10k road race…which equates to 6.2 miles. Not bad for a non-runner, right? I thought so.

I don’t know what my motivation was to sign up last year… But, this year, I felt like it was a combination of “Hey, I did it last year” and “Haha, I will totally sneak in and register in the two hours it takes to fill up JUST to piss off someone that is actually a good runner!” Both, I believe, are equally good reasons.

Anyway, we started training recently. Tristan is flat out a better runner than I am. I chalk it up to his Y chromosome… and the fact that I can barely breathe out of my nose. But, it has been easier to start the training regiment this year than it was last year. Nonetheless, the more I run the more I seem to realize that I am not a runner. Let’s see why:

10. During last years race, we hit mile 4 when suddenly we saw people running towards us. It wasn’t until we realized they were runners that had already completed the race doing their cool-down that we truly knew how much we actually sucked at running.

9. I usually have to run with a nose strip, meant to keep people from snoring, in order to breathe right. I don’t think Joan Benoit Samuelson needs one of those.

8. When I ran my first 5k, the only people to finish behind me were a 63-year old woman and an overweight middle schooler. Yes, all of the women pushing their baby carriages beat me.

7. During last years race, we hit the mile 5 marker when those people doing their cool-downs proceeded to lap us. Bye-bye all running self esteem I had left.

6. When I run the boulevard, my 4-and-a-half-pound poodle mix dog keeps up without a struggle.

5. I refuse to wear shorts while running. It’s bad enough I have to feel my thighs jiggle when I run…I prefer not to see it in action.

4. I am afraid to run on trails for fear that if I have a heart attack while I’m running, no one would find me for at least an hour.

3. I cannot run with any “running buddies” or even Tristan. We discovered that if I do, they will most likely be sworn at the entire time and/or accosted for somehow causing me to not be able to keep up the pace… i.e. breathing annoyingly, running too close, or – god forbid – talking to me.

2. Every time I run, I get blisters the size of Mount Vesuvius.

1. While I run the boulevard, I spend more time thinking about ways I can write about it in my blog than actually paying attention to running.

I guess, even though I am not a runner, I should feel good that I am attempting to run these races and get in shape. I mean, it’s better than sitting on my ass, drinking beer. Or…at least, this way, I can burn off the calories I drink before I drink them – right?

This top 10 is spot-on as to why I am not, and probably will never be, a runner. So, being that I was contemplating spending $399 on a really nice jogging stroller, I am now thinking that the $99 option from Target might be better. That way if it becomes a dust catcher in the garage, I don’t have to kick myself for spending a massive amount of money on it.

I’ll keep you all apprised in my quest for the jogging (walking) stroller, and updated on its actual use!

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