An open letter to my husband and all the dads that do not suck.

Best Dad

Proud Papa!

Dear Awesome Husband and Father to My Child,

Thanks. I just wanted to take the time to say it because I know you’re grossly misrepresented and under appreciated these days. Society seems to think you’re either the emotionally absent breadwinner or the guy appearing on Maury Povich’s latest dead-beat dad episode, and nothing in between. But I know you’re not an anomaly; there must be more of you out there.

If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me, “how do you do it?!” as a working mom, I’d be rich. If I had another dollar for every time I’ve had to explain, “well, my husband is really great,” to someone looking at me in bewilderment, I’d be even richer. It’s like they assume you must change a diaper every once in a while when I force you — that must be what I mean.

No, that’s not what I mean. This is what I mean:

Thank you for all those times you woke up with me to breastfeed our son in the middle of the night when he was a newborn. Surely you didn’t have the boobs nor the milk, but you woke up with us just the same to help me make sure I didn’t fall asleep holding him in the rocking chair.

Thank you for all those mornings for the past 17 months that you wake up and let me sleep another 30 minutes. And by “all those” mornings, I mean every morning. Sorry you married a woman that requires lots of sleep and that you’re a light sleeper.

Thanks for those times that you saw the laundry or the dishes or the disorganization piling up, higher and higher. And instead of pointing it out to me, you just ::gasp:: did the housework yourself.

Thanks for those times you cook dinner, even if you do burn the spaghetti.

Thank you for giving me that weekend girl’s trip to Boston, and the baby free shopping trips, and never questioning the fact that I’ve required an earlier bedtime than our 1 year old since getting pregnant with #2. And all of the above done without imposing a single ounce of guilt.

Thanks for not mentioning it that time that I burned the spaghetti.

Thanks for always jumping to change the diaper first, and doing tubby time, and the long walks in the Radio Flyer. Thanks for being more interested in your little boy than your Blackberry or hanging out with your buddies or baseball or beer.

Thanks for not reporting me to the authorities when I would cry for days postpartum, especially that time I questioned whether or not either of you would even miss me if my car accidentally veered into a telephone pole one day on the way home from work. Thanks for just lightly and without judgement suggesting that maybe I, you know, speak to someone.

Thanks for an equal partnership. And one that isn’t 75/25 or 80/20 or 60/40. One that is, legit, 50/50.

While us moms are busy complaining about “having it all” and “being it all” and “doing it all”, some of you men are just doing it.

Sure, it’s hard for moms these days to be expected to work full-time, manage the home full-time, and take care of the kids full-time. Sure, there are days that I feel like I’m doing everything and you do nothing.

But it’s also hard for the men, who are no longer just expected to work a 60-hour week, come home to a warm dinner on the table and shout at the kids to go to bed before falling asleep in the La-Z-Boy. Some men work full-time, manage the home full-time, and take care of the kids full-time too. (Because, yes, it takes 2 people doing those things full-time to have a functioning family these days.) I’m sure there are days that you feel like you’re doing everything and I do nothing.

So, I just thought it was time to make my appreciation known. I’m sorry that dads are getting little recognition and moms seem to always be shouting from the rooftops (of the internet) about why we deserve so much more. I want moms to get credit for all they do, but there are a lot of dads that have earned it too.

I appreciate you for kicking so much ass.

Your Equally Awesome Wife and Mother to Your Child

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