We are tired parents.

We are tired parents.

So, what does a working mom of a 2 year old and a newborn have to do in a day? Since you asked, here’s my day in have-to’s:

    • I have to hit snooze, at least 3 times.
    • Have to shower and blow dry my hair without waking up these kids.
    • Where’s the coffee? I have to remember to brush my teeth after this cup of coffee.
    • I have to nurse the baby.
    • Have to get the kids dressed.
    • I have to find Charlie’s other boot. Where the fuck is the other boot?!
    • Have to let the dogs out.
    • Have to get out of the house by 7:15. Did I pay the daycare bill? Shit, have to write that check. Where are the fucking envelopes?!
    • Gotta have another cup of coffee. Thank god for Dunkin Donuts. We’ll stop on the way.
    • Dexter! Libby! Fuck it, I’ll just have to buy new rugs. Let’s go.
    • Have to listen the Happy Tappin’ with Elmo on repeat. All the fucking way in town. 30 minutes. Not enough coffee in the world.
    • I have to be patient while my toddler stops to eat snow on his way into school. Come on buddy, we’re late! I have to get to work.
    • I have to finish these budgets, and send over those projections. What time is that meeting again?
    • Sorry, no time, gotta pump.
    • Yes, I got your email – I just have to finish this other thing first.
    • I have got to learn to say “no” when the sentence begins with “Do you have a second?” It’s never just a second. Never. Ever.
    • Can’t forget to eat lunch. And I have to drink at least 3 bottles of water today. I’m not making enough milk, and it’s because I have to take better care of myself.
    • Did I remember to brush my teeth? Gotta brush them after lunch then.
    • Have to go through those 1200 emails. There are literally 1200. And call my doctor about this weird mole.
    • Oh, and the hospital about that extra bill from Nora’s birth. Every penny counts when you’re paying for 2 in daycare.
    • I have to be on this conference call at 2. I need to figure out how to get these people out of my office so I can pump.
    • Ahh, silence. Where is the lid to these bottles? Damn it, forgot the lids! Fuck it. I have got to remember to bring in extra pumping supplies!!
    • Where’s the meeting? Sorry, have to print the agenda!
    • Ugh, have to fix this paper jam because it’s clearly not going to fucking fix itself.
    • Did I ever brush my teeth? Meh, gotta find my Altoids I guess.
    • Have to leave here by 4:30, $1/minute if I’m not there by 5. What time is it?
    • I have to pump again before I go.
    • “Do you have a second?”
    • Shit, it’s 4:40! I’ll just have to finish that report at home tonight, after the babes are asleep.
    • I have to sneak out of here without anyone seeing me and asking another question. Sorry, gotta run!
    • Damn it traffic. I have to get to pick up – we’re talking a DOLLAR per MINUTE people!!! Move it or lose it!
    • Sorry I’m late! Have to grab his daily sheet: He’s low on diapers, and don’t forget his boots tomorrow (Smiley face.)
    • Have to stop to buy diapers.
    • And where the fuck is that other boot!?
    • Have to make dinner. Pizza again? Fine by me.
    • Have to let the dogs out.
    • Have to nurse the baby. Then have to have a glass of wine. Or two.
    • Have to give Charlie a bath. And damn it, we HAVE to get him to sleep in his toddler bed. Screw it, I don’t have time for this, the crib it is!
    • I have got to call my friend and congratulate her on her engagement. I have GOT to stop being such a shitty friend!
    • Have to engage in conversation with my husband. And muster up enough energy to care about some server upgrade at some medical facility that so and so didn’t…blah…blah…blah. Have to get more wine.
    • Have to wash the bottles and make the lunches and pack the bags and pick out the outfits.
    • Have to do the laundry.
    • Scratch that, no time. I’ll just have to strategically place the dirty laundry so that my mother in law might do the laundry while she’s here watch the babies on Friday. (And no doubt she will because she is amazing.)
    • And then I have to pump again to make up for the 3 ounces I am short from this day.
    • Have to snuggle the baby. I’m missing everything. I can’t cry about it. Don’t cry about it.
    • And check on Charlie. Because I’ve taken a few minutes to watch him sleep every night since birth and I can’t stop now.
    • Have to get to bed by 10. Getting up at 5am sucks.
    • But I have to finish that report. And the baby has to cluster feed. Fuck.
    • It’s midnight. Gotta go to sleep. But I’ve GOT to brush my teeth first.
    • Aaaand, the baby’s awake. I have GOT to get her to take a pacifier.

Repeat.

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