Random thoughts on being mostly okay.

“How are you?” I cannot recall a time in my life that such a simple question was so loaded. I am mostly okay. With little bits of not okay interspersed. I don’t know if it will ever get better than that. I’ve been on medication for post-partum depression for almost 6 months. As my doctor said, it’s not a happy pill. It’s not a magic bullet. Life isn’t puppies and rainbows, but it is unequivocally better. I am calmer. I am less sad. I do not feel hopeless. I can cope with the every day. It has been a long time since I’ve blogged, and I think that’s because avoidance is my best coping mechanism. It is easier to avoid the conversation, avoid my friends, avoid the world, than to admit any ki ... Read the full post.

In the end, she didn’t fail at all.

I don’t know why this update has been so difficult for me to write. I have 5 drafts and have been staring at the blinking cursor on a blank page on and off for a week. I guess it starts with a thank you – to everyone who has reached out to me since my last post about postpartum depression. While it makes me sad to know that so many other moms can related to my experience, it also makes the burden much lighter to bear. At the very least, it is wonderful to know how much support I have from everyone around me. It will be three weeks this Sunday since I started meds. And, I am tired. Honestly, that has been the worst side effect for me. My doctor told me to expect to not feel the full impact of the medication for 3-4 weeks, and by ... Read the full post.